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Mami often asks me if I miss home, if I miss her. I don't know the answer to this question. I have been living away from home for more than 8 years now. I am used to not living with my family, not seeing them on a day to day basis. I am used to learning about their wellbeing by just talking to them on the phone. But then again, I often think of home. Thoughts that come about at unexpected moments and bring a smile and sometimes a craving. I don't know if that means that I miss being at home.

I guess everyone has different memories and different things that fit into their definition of home. For me, home means Mama reading the newspaper or doing his writing in the morning and then showing you what he has written, it means him reciting the Jata-kata shiv tandav stotram right after he has taken his shower, it means the roti-sabzi or dosa that Mami or Mummy make for breakfast, it means the lazy Sunday morning for me, but the busy morning for Tan who cleans and dusts the rooms, it means Papa and Mummy drinking their tea while Mummy worries about what to cook for lunch, it means Mami watching some old movie or a soap opera on TV, it means the badminton games or evening walks with Mama. It also means Mami asking me or Tan what Mummy-Papa are doing whenever you go up to her and Mummy-Papa asking me what Mama-Mami are doing whenever you go down, which I find amusing. It means always having a choice between two places for a meal, but also having to balance that out so I eat at both the places equal number of times. It also means doing Pujas twice on every festival and eating twice the prasad. It means being home for Diwali and cleaning and dusting through the day and lighting the diyas through the evening. It means getting together for the celebration of Diwali in the evening. It means the way Tan keeps pulling my leg for no reason and also the late night movies that I watch with her. Home is also the fun we have when Didi and Bhaiji come for vacation. What home really means is a collection of all these memories together. 

So yes, sometimes I think about all of these, more so during festivals and less often when I have too much work on my mind. But, it is something that's always there in me.  

-RS

#home

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