Skip to main content

When Love Is In The Air... Part II

Note: This is my second post on this topic. You can find Part I here. I wrote this 5 years ago, but it was lying in my drafts all this while. My impulse got the better of me today, mostly because I haven't posted anything in a while and got desperate. So here I am posting it, finally!

What has really induced me into writing this post is the fact that one of my closest friends has recently got engaged to be married. Well the wedding -which is going to be an arranged marriage by the way- is still a few months away and so this is exactly the time when all interesting things happen.

So then, let me begin from the beginning.

The initial period (right after both families agree to the marriage) is the period of anxiety. Will he or won't he call! Each day is a long wait for that elusive phone call from the boy, to the point of frustration. This is when all theories are concocted...the boy himself may not be interested in the marriage and has acceded to it to please his parents theory, the boy may have had a relationship and has recently broken up with his girlfriend theory, the boy has a girlfriend and is hiding the fact from his parents theory...well, you get the hang. Now, one might argue, that this is the 21st century, and so the girl herself could call. So, why the wait?!! Well, you see, this is an arranged marriage, so if the girl calls first, there are again some (non-verifiable) theories that can conjure up a bad first impression for the girl. These theories can range from the completely bizarre, like the girl makes the first move and is therefore not traditional theory, to the completely stupid like the girl is desperate theory.

Then, one fine day, the boy does call and all the concocted theories are thrown out of the window. First time that they talk over the phone, it's just for 5 mins or less. Then, the exchange of messages start...A peek into the day to day life of both the concerned persons followed by the actual period of courtship, when conversations don't end, when sleep betrays them and dreams are filled with thoughts about their fiance, when gifts are bought and exchanged every now and then (doesn't matter if its an occasion or not), when they become amateur poets, when songs acquire new meanings, when their siblings curse them as they no longer have any time to spare, when....you get the drift.

Then comes the time when they have talked so much, that they now have to come up with new topics to talk about, or reduce their conversation to snippets regarding what they ate, when they slept, what they wore...basically, completely boring stuff. Its like this feeling, where the heart yearns to talk, but the mind is not able to come up with anything relevant or worthwhile or interesting. What irony!!

So, this is a very interesting aspect of an arranged marriage. You have the license from your own parents to carry out your love life in full glaring public view. All your cousins are interested in the developments regarding your love life. Some of them mean good and some of them secretly snigger and wish that you have a difficult set of in-laws. Now, I'm drifting into family politics. So, let me leave it here, the point being, that all this anxiety finally did lead to something nice. Coz, my friend is very very happy right now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Looking back on the last 5 years: Dedicated to my students

IISER Bhopal Campus I remember my first day at IISER Bhopal on 31st Jan. 2019. I had just arrived, all jet-lagged and groggy eyed. I filled up all the forms, met the HOD of my department and was taken to my new office. Thereafter, I was asked to go to the Chirayu Hospital for a medical check-up, was asked to fill up some more forms upon my return to campus and left to my own devices. However, I did not have a bank account, a phone number, a PAN card and most importantly, good internet (hah!). Procuring all these over the course of the next 10 days led to varying levels of frustration with the Indian system. It was a reverse cultural shock in some sense and made me question my decision of coming back to India. I think it is fair to say that my postdoctoral experience in the US had left me drained and this new life here was not helping in making me feel better. I was like a fish out of water, not able to find comfort anywhere. The next few months of my professional life were a struggle w...
11 comments
Read more

A letter to the "smart" students

To the students who think they're so smart that they can fool the instructor: Sorry to break this to you, but no, you're not fooling anybody! In fact, you are the fool if you think otherwise. So, let me tell you something that might shine a light on your otherwise dead brain. Learning is a two-way street. If you want to learn, I am willing to teach over and beyond what is expected of me. I will still teach even if you don't want to learn because that is my job. However, like they say, you can only bring the horse to the water, you cannot make it drink.  When you leave the class, I notice. When you talk, I notice. When you don't bring a notebook or a pen and pretend to be attentive, I notice. So, to reiterate, you're really not fooling anybody. I frankly don't care. I am happier teaching a small class of students who are sincere and want to learn. In fact, that's better for me. As then, we are in sync and I don't have to worry about the distractor...
8 comments
Read more

Phrases that must never be used when talking to your PhD Guide

There are some phrases that must never be uttered when talking to your PhD guide. 'Coz if you do, then you might have to endure a lecture from him/her that will leave you wondering what got into you, that you said that!! "You said so earlier..." : Never ever say this. If your Prof. asks you to remove something from your presentation that he himself had asked you to add, you're done for if you tell him, "But, you asked me to put this in earlier". The standard reply you may get will be something like this- "I may have said so many things." Or worse, you may get a scorn for a reply that will instantly shut you up. "I didn't get time to..." : You should definitely steer clear from saying anything of this sort. 'Coz if you do, then before you even finish your sentence, you're bound to get a look that says, "What? You didn't get time?!!." Then your Prof. will ask you, "So, what is it that you do that you don't...
11 comments
Read more